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United Brethren is currently on blog sabbatical.

"Lost" in the Bloggernacle

Spurious allusions between tv/movies and Mormonism are widespread. If people can seriously suggest that Yoda was based on Spencer W. Kimball, then I can make connections between Lost and the Bloggernacle. Utterly fatuous, I' m sure, but here goes:

BCC and its pals in the Mormon Archipelago are clearly the front half of the plane. We're the cool, friendly ones. Times and Seasons, being evil, are the Others (aka the Dharma Initiative?) I'll let you decide who Ethan is. Banner of Heaven, being kooky, are the back half. Alternatively, BoH could be the Others, full of mystery, possibly fake. Where would that leave T&S? The boring, fatty real-world flash-backs? Time to have a wee/make a cup of tea and wait for the real action to get going. Actually, this seems more befitting of M*. The other Bloggernacle islands, atolls etc. can only be the extras who fold clothes in the background.

As for individual bloggers (besides evil Ethan who is whoever you want him to be; and drawing on the BCC/MA crew only, see above):
  • Kate - My wife will kill me if I choose anyone but her (same goes for Shannon). So let's say Rebecca and the FMH crew: sassy, sexy, independent
  • Jack - OK, he's dishy, so again I have to be careful here. As he's the boss, one would think of Steve, but Steve's funny. Jack ain't. John Hatch has the moodiness
  • Hurley - Gotta be Steve: the physical similarity is spooky
  • Locke - Pretty weird, but cool too, and HARD. Stapley, then. Or Don, 'cos he's old.
  • Sawyer - Handsome, snarky. One out of two would again suggest Steve. Aaron Brown, perhaps?
  • Charlie - OK. Me. I play the guitar, I have the accent, I snort...
  • Michael - Exceptionally nice guy. Choose from Rusty or Geoff J. Will he find Walt? What does the future hold? Is Lost the council of heaven?
  • Walt - John Fowles. Where's he gone?
  • Jin - For speaking a language above most of us: Nate Oman. Wait, he's an Other, possibly the evil genius (Alvar Honso) behind it all along with Wenger. So it must be Justin Butterfield
  • Sun - Dave. Because he and Justin belong together (I still miss the DMI-Wasp superblog)
  • Rose - Not seen very often, but good for calming things down a bit: Karen, Kristen J, KHH, Elisabeth*
  • Boone (or the teacher who got blown up) - choose your favourite dearly-departed blogger
*Not technically in the BCC/MA, but should be.

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Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 10:19 AM) 

I vote for yours truly as a cunning Sawyer/Jack hybrid.

Michael is Rusty.
Artz is JMW.
Locke? Tough one. Maybe Redelfs. It's the belief in destiny that seals it.
Hurley: Aaron Brown 

Posted by Steve Evans


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 10:33 AM) 

You wish, Evans. Hurley you are. But don't be sad: Hurley's a lovely chap. 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:02 AM) 

Can I be the high school teacher who got blown up by dynamite? 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:04 AM) 

But Artz (apparently that was his name, or so curelom whispers) hasn't returned yet, Kim. You did! 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:04 AM) 

Okay, Ronan, you're going to have to start folding your own clothes now... Sheesh... I'm clearly a better choice as Sawyer, but no, has to be someone who was blogging four months earlier than me, right? 

Posted by RoastedTomatoes


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:07 AM) 

Actually, RT, that's a good call. Sawyer's not his real name is it? Can you say "sweet cheeks?" And can anyone out there say "brother" in a Scottish accent, there's a spot to fill. 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:09 AM) 

It's Irish, not Scottish. 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:14 AM) 

Sorry, gov, but he's a Scot. No question. I thought you were a closet-Scot? You should no better. 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:38 AM) 

Er, know. 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 11:46 AM) 

Well, technically, he's Irish and Peruvian, but you are right about the accent it is Scottish. Or rather a combination of Trinidad and Scotland. I'll be happy to be Desmond, the guy not born in Scotland who still wants to be Scottish (okay the actor, not the character, but still).

How'd you know I was a closet Scot? 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 12:55 PM) 

I have to admit that I have never seen Lost . If this Locke bloke is me, he better be handsome, witty, and erudite. 

Posted by J. Stapley


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 12:58 PM)

Just like you, J.

And Kim, Desmond is Jesus. (And you want to live in Aberdeen - see, I remember.) 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:00 PM) 

So I can't be Desmond?

I see you remember, but I don't remember posting it. I wish I had a way of keeping track of where I have commented. 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:03 PM) 

I hereby knight you Sir Desmond, he of the maniacal eyes. Hey, you said it not me. 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:04 PM) 

Maniacal eyes? Okay, now you're just making up stuff that I've said. 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:43 PM) 

I would like to be wait,, you know who I mean. 

Posted by John C.


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:47 PM) 

Kim, brother, is Desmond a good guy or a bad guy?

And anyone else: who are the Others (not T&S, the real Others), and what's going on? Spoil away... 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:47 PM) 

Yeah, John, fold away... 

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 1:56 PM) 

Me as Locke, that's a lock. I even have the same hair. Actually he does have a bit less than me. But I am cool like him.  

Posted by don


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 2:08 PM) 

Warning: Speculation follows!

A currently popular theory is that the people on the boat that took Walt were the DeGroots from the initiation film. People who buy this theory claim that the people in the film and the people on the boat look alike.

Ronan, why would your wife want to be Kate? A bit troubled and dangerous, behind that pretty face. Or Shannon? does that make you her stepbrother? Ewww. Besides, she's about to die....

Just because they're animals: Vincent == Curelom

and it's ARZT, ARZT! not ARTZ! The guy's in a thousand tiny bits, and still can't get any respect.

Posted by Bryce I


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 2:10 PM) 

And a great link proving that Lost is really set in the Zork universe:  

Posted by Bryce I


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 2:20 PM) 

"Kim, brother, is Desmond a good guy or a bad guy?"


Just like me.


Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 3:43 PM) 

You know, I thought that Desmond was Australian. I think he's a good guy. Thank you for the compliment, I think Rose is a very nice character.

I don't watch this show very often so I'm "lost" as to some of the characters you are referring to. Is there a place I can go to check out the characters? 

Posted by kristen j


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 4:16 PM) 

Ronan, I think the flashback you're searching for for M* is the guy that plays both Hurley's mean boss at Mr. Cluck's and Locke's mean boss at the Box Company. Is that stuffed shirt enough for you?

But who's Rousseau? Mysterious woman who appears infrequently and at random, guided only by her whims and delusions and love for her child/ren? KHH anyone?

Also, Claire is superstitious, needy, and impressionable-- Have you guys ever met that Davis Bell guy?


Posted by Ryan Bell


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 4:20 PM) 

Ok - the wife putting a word in - I never said I wanted to be either of those women - I'm not really like any of them, but my dear hubby if you're just trying to say how beautiful I am, then that's fine!!

But who would you be Ronan? I'd personally go for the Sawyer type - is that you????? 

Posted by Rebecca


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 5:02 PM) 

I already claimed Sawyer -- and, Rebecca, I'm taken... 

Posted by RoastedTomatoes


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 5:13 PM) 

He said in his post, Rebecca. He wants to be Charlie. 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 5:14 PM) 

ah indeed - i can cope with a rock star type too!

Posted by Rebecca


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 5:16 PM) 

So...who's Ana Lucia? Libby? Eko? Bernard? 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 5:51 PM) 

Geeks and dweebs all of you. This post was a joke, and yet here you are, still fighting over these fictional  characters.

Anyway, where was I?

Kim: the back-half is BoH. Bunch of weirdos.
Ryan: perfect, absolutely perfect.
Kristen: google "lost." You can then participate in the lunatic discussion of these things.  

Posted by Ronan


Anonymous said ... (October 20, 2005 6:28 PM) 

Oh, d'uh! Here I was telling Rebecca to read your post. 

Posted by Kim Siever


Anonymous said ... (October 21, 2005 12:39 PM) 

I think Jim Faulconer on T&S is a shoo-in for John Locke. Besides the philosophy connection, Jim always keeps his cool when things get crazy, has a bit of wisdom for every situation, and is as dedicated to cracking enigmatic scriptures as Locke was to opening the hatch. 

Posted by will


Anonymous said ... (October 21, 2005 12:40 PM) 

But don't turn your back on him... 

Posted by will


Anonymous said ... (October 28, 2005 10:57 AM) 

Just now saw this thread.

Walt?!?!?! Ronan!

But Walt does have some mysterious power that causes birds ("fowls") to crash into glass windows and things that he is scared of to appear in real life (polar bear from the back of his comic book). So I guess that's cool, except he's not much of central figure.

Charlie's a good fit for you Ronan if you refuse to take Arzt (he is, after all, the closest thing to a professor).

KHH is perfect for Rousseau. Steve for Jack. J. Stapley for Locke is a good fit since he helps everyone create their blogs and troubleshoot when huge "pissed off giraffs" (Hurley's description) come sniffing around (where are the pissed off giraffs this season?).

For some reason I'm thinking Hurley for Aaron B.--they've both got the CA connection and the irreverent attitude.

Shannon is the anti-thesis of anyone at FMH (you have to resort to Desperate Housewives to get a fit for them, j/k). I'm thinking Celibate in the City? I just don't know though. I don't want to insult anyone by making this comparison.

Kate might be Allison from don't let's start. That has always seemed a mysterious blog to me. How can we be sure that "Allison" is on the up-and-up?

RT, I don't know if you're "tough" enough to be Sawyer, although the pseudonym does make for somewhat of a fit. The problem is that I know you personally and can't really match you two up. . . .

Kaimi is obviously Locke's dad.

Have to think more about the rest. . . . 

Posted by john fowles


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